Doc Fever umpires on a field of dreams. and he eats at fever pitch. When the lights go out he glows in the dark.

This radical ump loves the melee rule. He blows the whistle with no idea. ...and he says "Go for Oddbodz."

Jarmanium plays forward pocket - both of 'em.  ...and he eats Siamese food.When he's asleep he's awake. 

This twosome loves double dating. He runs the field on twin engines.  ...and he says 'I'm the best. No I am.'

 Macattacka plays on footy's battlegrounds. and he eats LEAD!! When it's muddy - Back the Mac!

This powerhouse loves pummeling puny punks. He leads the teamwith penetrating power. ...and he thunders "Surrender? Never!'

Modranaut plays in a different world. ...and he eats rocket salad. When he flies black holes open.

This hunky hero loves overtaking Sav Rocket. He takes big grabs in the stratosphere. ...and he says 'Hey! Down there Cazaly.' 

Full Bodied Rhen plays with crushing confidence. ...and he eats gargantuan grapes.When the Crows win he pops his cork.

This beanpole loves a winning drop. He gets medals week in week out. .. and he whines 'I'm a vintage crop.' 

Smartypants plays at Footy College. ...and he eats Food for Thought. When he talks no one understands.

his brainy guy loves fitness tests. He plays the game at the top of his class. ...and he says 'I was born Smart!'

Lucky Lynch plays any chance he gets. ...and he eats in between hands. When he smiles the game is over.

This lucky lad loves leading the pack. He comes up trumps with the roll of the dice. ...and he says 'Luck's a fortune!'

Jolly Roger plays with Blackbeard's ghost. ...and he eats crumbled crossbones. When J.R. hits town Raise the white flag!

This pirate loves plundering the goals. He boots the ball with his pegleg. ...and he roars 'Arrr, me matey!' 

Northey Exposure coaches in a tropical paradise. ...and he eats the 'bear' necessities. When the suns out everyone whistles.

This bronzed bear loves banana benders. He trains his bears on a sandy oasis. ...and he says 'Carn the bronzed Aussies!' 

White Pointer plays in the deep end! ...and he eats creatures of all colours. When he appears - Shark Alert!!!.

This man-eater loves Jaws 1, 2 and 3. W.P. attacks opposition in a feeding frenzy! ...and he says 'Any closer and I'll attack!'

 Woof 'n' Kouta play together forever. ...and they eat at a table for two. When these two play it's double trouble.

This dynamic duo love singin' the blues. ...and they say 'It takes two to Tango.'

Steamin' Sticks plays in a steam bath! ...and he eats steamed veggies. When he's steamin' everyone whistles.

This skipper loves stickin' it to 'em. He takes speccies steaming above packs. ...and he shouts "Kerna can!"

Harrysaurus plays at Jurassic oval. ...and he eats whatever he wants. When he tumbles the ground shakes.

Big Harry loves stomping opposition. He bounces the ball in slo-mo. ...and he says 'I'm not extinct yet!' 

Barkin' Parkin' coaches night and day ...and he eats throat lozenges. When he speaks - earplugs anyone?

This guy loves breaking sound barriers. He barks orders in his sleep. ...and he yells 'We are the champions!' 

S.O.S. plays between the flags. ...and he never eats before the game. When he's around opponents yell "HELP!"

  This hero loves saving the team. He charges up field wearing floaties. ... and he says S.O.S., to the rescue! 

Turbo Diesel plays on hi-octane power. ...and he eats scraps from the pack. When he takes off his engine purrs.

This little champ loves tearin' up the field. He can handball in his sleep. ...and he says 'Medals. I love medals.' 

 Young Buck plays during buck season. ...and he eats Pecking Buck. When the maggies win his antlers grow.  This frisky guy loves Bucks nights. He charges ahead game after game after game. ...and he says "You've got Buckley's chance!" 

 Ned Kelly plays at old Melbourne gaol. ...and he eats bushranger bushtucker. If he's ambushed he never surrenders. This rouge loves holding up the troops. He leads his gang through thick or thin. ...and he demands 'Hand over your footy!' 

Monkenstein plays with Doc. Fever. ...and he eats Baby Blueboys. When Monkey's angry bolts go flyin'. This ruckster loves black & white movies. He taps the ball with a spare bolt. ...and he shouts "AAAARRRGH!!!"

 

Sav Rocket plays out of this world. ...and he eats flying bombers. When Sav blasts off the ground erupts. Sav just loves counting goals (10,9..). He takes grabs with universal appeal. ...and the Rocket says 'Maggie birds are go!'

 

Shaw thing coaches from the ground up. ...and he eats collywobbles for lunch. When he says 'Jump' Maggies saw 'ow igh?' He surely loves winnin' the big one. He's a good bet fir the black and whites. ...and he boasts 'We're a sure thing!'

 

Ha Ha Harvs plays in the funny house. ...and he eats funny bone steak. When he talks jesters laugh. This jokester loves playin' for laughs. He runs the field at a laugh a minute. ...and he says'You heard the one about...' 

 

Jesse James plays like a legend. ...and he eats West Coast Eagles. When he shoots everyone ducks. This outlaw loves hangin' with Ned Kelly. He runs on the ground with spurs in his boots. ...and he threatens 'Your footy or your life!'

 

Long bomber plays near and far. ...and he eats Liquid Long Soup. If he's near the goals he's no long shot. This guy loves his long johns. He loves to run for a long, long time. ...and he sings 'The Long and Winding Road.'

 

 Smokin' Joe plays in double overdrive. ..and he eats smoked salmon. When he runs time stands still.

This guy loves the need for speed. He races upfield on a puff of smoke. ...and he says 'Holy Smoke!!'

 Swingin' Sheeds coaches by his own rules. ...and he eats Magpie stew. When he swings its party time!!

This swinger loves swingin' in the rain. He takes of jackets during time-on. ...and he says 'The swing is king.'

Rubber man plays in vulcanized shorts. ...and he eats rubber parmigiana. If he falls he bounces back up.
This elastic guy loves rolling of packs. He bounces the footy every 5 seconds. ...and he says 'BOIING!'

 

Battlin' Boyd plays in the Roman coliseum. ...and he eats swordfish soup. When B.B. charges in resistance is useless! 
This gladiator loves Ben Hur's chariot. He defeats opponents with one hand tied. ...and he says "I'm King of the Lions.'

 

Libba Supreme plays at Pizzas Park. ...and he doesn't eat anchovies. If you annoy him he'll slice you in eight.
This bambino loves a pizza the action. He runs the field tossing and flipping, ,,,and Libba says 'I always deliver.'

 

Southerly Buster plays at the South Pole. ...and he eats southern fried chicken. If he blows in no one is safe.
This tough guy loves kicking with wind. He runs through packs without blinking an eye. ...and he shouts 'To the goals or burst!'

 

Long Tall Scottie plays at McWhitten Oval. ...and he eats scotch fingers. When he flies high watch his kilt!

Scottie just loves to be beamed up. He grabs the ball blowing bagpipes. ...and he says 'C'arn the Wee Doggies.' 

Ben Hur plays at the Freo Coliseum. ...and he eats well fed whingers. When he races he's always a winner.
This Hero loves Chariots of Fire. He charges downfield in a blaze of glory. ...and he says 'Halius Dockerus!'

 

Spider Burton plays in the bush. ...and he eats fly pies! When he falls over he breaks a leg - any leg.
Spider just loves playin' eight ball pool. He gets tangles by weaving around. And spider says 'Don't bug me!'

 

Hot Chisel plays at boiling point. ...and he eats wood fired pizza. When he's hot or cold he sizzles.
This high marker loves fire and brimstones. He plays the game with burning desire. ...and he says 'I'm too hot to handle!'

 

The Great Graaaablet plays in a world of his own ...and he gobbles up footy's all day long. When it's raining he walks on water.
This great one loves doing the impossible. He kicks goals with his his eyes closed. ...and he says 'I live to grab!'

 

Conan coaches at Kardinia Cave. ...and he eats raw meat. When his Cats claw big men cry.
This barbarian loves squashing the enemy. He urges his players waving his clubs. ...and he grunts 'Me Coach of Cats.'

 

Barnstorma plays on auto pilot. ...and he eats aeroplane jelly. When it's time-on fasten seatbelts!
Barnsey loves belly landings. He takes the screamers from his cockpit. ...and he says 'I'm always sky high!' 

 

Puffing Brownless plays with a smiling face. ...and he eats in the dining car. When he jumps passengers, beware!
 This locomotive loves letting off steam. ...He stays on track 'til the Whistle blows. ...and he screams 'Outta My Way!!'

 

Couch Potato plays at Couchdinia Park. ...and he eats T.V. dinners. When he watches T.V. do not disturb!!
This relaxed dude loves slo-mo replays. He hides his ball under his pillow. ...and Couchy yawns 'SSSHHH. I'm watchin' myself.'

 

Holy Buddah plays on a mountain top. ...and he eats on holy days. When he plays we achieve inner piece.
This holy man loves everybody! He controls the ball with divine skills. ...and he says 'Follow your goal.'

 

High Flying Dutchman plays in clogs. ...and he eats hamster jam. When he soars windmills blow kisses.
This hawk loves tiptoeing thru tulips. He kicks winning goals in the 'nick' of time. ...and he yells I'm a real Dutch treat!'

 

Roving Rat plays Rat & Mouse games. ...and he eats ratatoohey chop suey. When he's racing Cats go crazy. 
This Rat loves rundown club houses. He grabs the footy like cheese from a trap. ...and the rat says "Don't pat the Rat!'

 

Gallopin' Garry plays on flaming turf. ...and he eats deviled eggs. When he's hot Demons fire up.
This redleg loved blazin' a trail. GG boots goals when the heat is on. ...and he says 'Let's burn 'em.'

 

Soarin' Smithereens plays in explosive boots. ...and he eats gunpowdered eggs. When he marks cameras explode.
This bombardier loves blowing up photos. He takes on screamers standing on heads. ...and he says 'I'm pure dynamite!'

 

Stinga Stingray plays at the M.C. Sea. ...and he eats fish fingers. When he stings you better beware! 
This stingray loves fishing for prey. He circles the pack with intents to sting ...and he declares 'Mmm. Something's fishy!'

 

 King Carey plays at Kangaroo Palace. ...and he eats Crown Roasts.When he appears loyal fans bow.

This leader loves the royal wave. He rules the ground with force and power. ...and he says 'Long live the King.'

Rockin' Horse plays in a one man band. ...and he eats like a horse. When R.H. runs he wins by a nose.
Horse just loves rockin' your sox. He kicks the ball like a country mule. ...and he says 'I'm Horsin' around.'

 

Maccaroo plays at the Marsupial Oval. ...and he eats grass for breaky. When he leaps Do the Hop Pop Poo!
Macca loves playin' in the pockets. He hides the ball in his puch. ...and he says 'I'm hopping mad.'

 

Fly Schwatta plays on Good Friday. ...and he eats flyed rice. When he goes swattin' - Watch for Spider Burton.
Schwatta loves fly-by points. He rushes the ball with a giant swatter. ...and he says 'Ave a good weekend.'

 

Sheriff Cambo plays back on the ranch, ,,,and he eats Western food. When he arrives everyone feels safe.
This cowboy loves ten gallon hats. He rides high in old Tigerland. ...and he shouts 'Here comes the Sheriff!'

 

Deep Freeza plays at minus 20ยบ ... and he eats frozen veggies. When he's operating - don the gloves.
This cold guys loves the snowmen in white. He passes the footy with ice precision. ...and he says 'Stay cool dudes.'

 

Galestorm plays on a wind swept oval. ...and he eats beans with the wind. When he's stormin' open the floodgates.
Benny just loves Melbourne's weather. He boots the ball into the breeze. and he bellows 'I'll be blown.'

 

Sir Knighter plays on his trusty steed. ...and he eats dragon pate. When he rides bow your head!
This tiny hero loves slaying the big boys. He snatches the ball on his mighty lance. ...and he reckons 'Knight footy is tops!'

 

Miracle Mattie plays 8 days a week. ...and he eats fish on Friday. When he looks up Angels descend.
This Tiger hero loves parting the packs. He can win games after the siren! ...and he whispers 'Blessed are the Tigers.'

 

Mt. Everitt plays at Arctic Park. ... and he eats snow cones. When it's sunny his hair melts. 
Big Pete dreams of climbing for screamers. He marks the ball at his peak. ,,,and he echoes 'I'm King Mountain Head.'

 

Harvey Ball Banger plays at Bangaratta Oval. ...and he eats B.B.Q. bangers. When he kicks - Goodnight sweet footy!
This ball buster loves Tommy Sherrin. He's always kicking like a machine ...and he says 'Life's a kick!'

 

Stewie Buchethands plays catch all day. ...and he eats by the bucket load. When he's in form he really mops up.
This markaholic loves grippin' grabs. He marks the pill every two minutes ... and he booms 'Just mark my word!'

 

Captain Courageos plays with all his heart. ...and he eats Hero sandwiches. When Sydney wins watch his grin!
This super hero loves turning on Plugger Power. He goes for the ball like a madman. ...and he cries 'No Swan song for me.'

 

 Plugger Power plays with turbo energy. ...and he eats electric eels. When he attacks - it's SHOCKING.

Plugger just loves plugging the goals. He kicks majors with the flick of a switch. ...and he roars 'Feel the Power!'

General Jaka plays war games. ...and he eats whatever he captures. When he walks by the players salute.
This general loves strategic wins. He handballs with military precision. ...and he says 'Let's talk tactics.'

 

Mainherring plays in the Swan River. ...and he eats barnacles in batter. When he tackles - goodnight sweet bait! 
This fish loves fighting off tackles. He sails through packs with fins a'flyin'. ...and he says 'Hook me if you can.' 

 

Malty coaches on sand dunes. ...and he eats Wheat Brix. If he gets mad he spits bricks.
This coach loves staching up flags. He addresses the team at three mortar time. ...and he says "One brick at a time.'

 

Peter Cheetah plays out in the open. ...and he eats footy-on-a-spit. When he runs he's King of the jungle!
This speedster loves the fast lane. He's always running in fields of glory. ...and he boasts 'I'm faster than you.'

 

Captain Chemist plays at a pharmacy near you. ...and he eats those chemist jellybeans. If pain persists he sees a Docker.
This captain loves dispensing trouble. He strikes fear in everyone's heart. ...and he says 'Take two and rest.'

 

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